i am not, or am i?

i was born on the 23rd of April, 1986 in Te Awamutu, NZ but spent most of my childhood in Dunedin. i went to Otago Boys High School for whom i played rugby and cricket among others. when i wasn't playing sport, i was a building apprentice. i love building houses. after high school, i undertook a BCAppSci in design, while pursuing my dream of playing for the All Blacks with the University Colts. going to Murray Mexted's International Rugby Academy certainly helped on the way like it did with my good mate and everyone's favourite beanpole, Jason [Eaton].

i made my debut for Otago in the 2006 Air New Zealand Cup against Counties Manukau at Ericsson Stadium in Auckland, having featured in Otago B last season. i enjoyed my first season at first-class level, and the national selectors seemed to agree too, as i got picked for the All Blacks spring tour of Europe later that year. i made my debut in the hallowed black jersey against Wales at the magnificent Millenium Stadium in Cardiff. it was such an incredible experience playing in such an enclosed, noisy environment like that. the All Blacks kept their long unbeaten record against Wales too and i had a rollicking time playing against my opponents in the loose forwards. oh i must not forget, i can play all over the back row, i.e. #6 - #8 , but preferably at #8 at the back of the scrum..

on a personal note, i was single.. until a girl came into my life just after the Rugby World Cup in France had finished with the All Blacks winning it of course.. it was in the Gibbston Valley.. she was beautiful.. she was tall, long blonde hair, and a pretty face.. and she was clever and outgoing.. and the nice thing was she was a year younger than me.. we got on p well..

and well..

the only trouble was... and it was a big problem.. well there were actually two big problems but the first one was p big.. she was from the States.. and she was a Hollywood star! in fact, she told me she was in this movie involving a pair of jeans that travel around the world, but being a rugby player, i tended to avoid chic flicks.. she'd broken up with her boyfriend back in the States.. so it would have been alright..

but then we came to the other problem.. i had Colin Meads in my head telling me.." we're bloody rugby players".. then soon Buck Shelford, Wilson Whineray, Andy Haden, Mark Allen, Richard Loe, Jon Preston, David Kirk, Murray Mexted joined the chorus.. all got even more confusing when Jonah Lomu with horns on his head joined in, saying "screw them.. even though u got the jersey man u don't need to marry Sarah Ulmer.." and i agreed, coz while she was alright, she was way too old for me.. now if ya dint know, All Blacks should never marry Hollywood stars.. that's why Byron Kelleher never plays that much for the ABs.. and that's just Rachel Hunter.. it's to honour the tradition of the jersey and those farmers, carpenters, electricians who took much time off in the days gone by, to honour the black jersey and Aotearoa in the hallowed rugby lands of South Africa and the United Kingdom.. to marry a Melanie Griffiths or Liv Tyler would suggest that u were stooping down to those heathens who don red jerseys called the Welsh led by that evil Gavin Henson and his mistress Charlotte Church..

maybe sometimes i'm glad that i'm not who i say i am..

i can say though that i did become a mainstay with the All Blacks and the Highlanders at #8, and even captained the ABs against Samoa at the Cake-Tin in the Rugby World Cup in 2011.. i then went to play for Leicester Tigers and then went back to NZ to play for North Harbour and the Chiefs in the Super 14..

and i did get my Hollywood star and retired from rugby to live in sunny California..