looking back at 2006 part I

well with really only 7 days left on the 2006 calendar year i guess i should start looking back on the year that has gone by so quickly.. really my life has gone by in a blur.. apparently i'm now a graduant - not a graduate until May 2007 when i get my degree - and now have to look for a job for a year to get some work experience and also earn a bit of money for my big OE to Europe in Sep/Oct/Nov 2007.. it seemed not too long ago i was still a fresh year trying to find my way in Otago..

now i'm brave enough to even do the infamous Good Charlotte Shake It Once It's Fine Shake It Twice It's Ok, Shake It Three Times Ya Playing With Yourself Again bridge in bed with Dan Joe - ermm yeah we had to share a bed for two nights in Wanaka over the summer.. however he dint quite appreciate it as u'd expect..

it's kinda scary i guess.. even daunting.. i've been back in Malaysia for 5 days now and golly the changes to ppl ya know and the surroundings make ya feel not quite at home.. it's been a bit of a rough tough start to the tour.. my dad inexplicably decided to leave renovations to the bathrooms and the house a few days before we came back so the house was in a bit of a mess until Christmas Eve.. thankfully the bathrooms have hot water again although it still does kinda look like a construction site.. i expect there to be a week more of renovations..

it can all bog ya down the stress of having strangers in ur house doing renovations, and then ur grandma not exactly feeling well.. i guess the good thing is that my aunts (my dad's side) are in the house to look after my grandma coz she's def not the same person as she was a couple of years ago and that's usually a good thing.. my second oldest aunt - she's still single even though she's 50 - always likes it when i'm here coz we seem to get on quite well..

and then there was this saying i read in the Penguin History of New Zealand.. think it was by Sargesson "Pain is necessary but grief is optional" i guess u need to go through pain to be stronger but how u deal with it is up to ya.. and i guess u need to realise that ppl go through pain in different ways.. ppl make their own choices and no matter how much u endeavour to help them i guess in the end u have to let them live the consequences of their choices.. at the end of the day, u can help a person with the choice they make, but ultimately u can't be that person.. i reckon i'm p empathic coz i do feel a bit more for people and the choices and consequences that they make, particularly with my mum.. i guess i need to start realising that u have to let them be who they are, and not let them ruin ur life by making u a vassal..

come to think of it that's the biggest lesson i've learnt in 2006.. sometimes ya just have to accept the way things are.. as i said, pain is necessary but grief is optional.. some people are just like that.. some people make choices but u don't need to be affected by them.. u aren't them after all.. whether it's mum, Mike, Jared, Dan or someone else.. they do mould who u are but u don't have to be under the mould all the time..

anyway enough of my rambling.. kinda strayed off a bit.. kinda looking back at 2006 there.. i guess it's better than talking only abt sport and more sport ya know..

as i might have mentioned before, 2006 was a year where expectations were met.. and that was it i felt.. or were my expectations higher than in 2005? maybe but it felt as if yeah ya kinda expected it and more often than not, maybe it felt a bit underwhelming.. perhaps it wasn't as good as it should have been.. like during this year's trip to Cromwell which certainly wasn't as good as last year.. but then again last year was p awesome esp with Mike, Jared, Jacqui and Joe.. however, a few weeks later, i kinda miss it a little bit, mainly the people there..

i guess when u get excited too often, it's not exciting anymore.. the roadtrip with Jono and his flatmates to Mount Hutt was p awesome though.. v good fun.. they're actually quite a crazy bunch of ppl whom i got to know much better this year.. that's why flatting always rocks.. ya know ya can visit anytime ya want and it's p fun.. i learnt how to really have fun with friends and push to the limit when i was in Cromwell in 2005 and this year it just got better and better.. and with Jono's flatmates, ya were either having watergun fights or putting a duck in Jono's room or putting tanning lotion on Sunny's face.. ah will miss Jono, Andrew and Sunny for sure..

relationships? well i made a pledge that in 2006 i wouldn't attempt to find a girlfriend.. worked brilliantly.. got to know a lot more ppl better.. feel more part of the group.. then came something which i can't really write on this blog anymore.. let's say it happened in Cromwell and i might have emailed a few ppl abt it.. had nothing to do with a Cutting Edger, past or present i can assure u though.. but it was p big.. possibly one of the biggest crushes i've had and still trying to get over... if u want the unblogged version, i'll email it to ya..

anyway, more later..