it feels so surreal..

seeing all the students back in Studyville after almost 4 months of quietness.. it actually does feel quite surreal that it's quite a bit to take in.. being a second yr student, all that first year excitement is no more there.. O'week's kinda lost a bit of its lure, mean have experienced it twice, so maybe yeah what's new.. i mean seeing new ppl will prob raise my excitement but yeah it's kinda hard trying to fathom the changes..

btw i'm writing this b4 Leader's Camp so i should feel better after that! wow i'm suddenly one of the "elders" or rather "experienced" of Cutting Edge..

to be honest, i'm a little bit apprehensive abt the upcoming year.. i'm still not too sure what my degree in Genetics/Pharmacology will bring.. the PostGrad Med option is still there.. i've thought abt Masters but maybe somewhere else.. sometimes i feel i should have done the whole Health Sci program with Stats and Physics.. but the reason why i dint only God knows... also realised i haven't quite gotten over Jess Roberts.. that was like 4 months back.. i was reading abt overcoming grief in today's - and tomorrow's - Word of the Day, and i've started to realise there's still quite a bit of grief inside me.. perhaps the attachment was much stronger than i thought.. maybe that's why she wanted to break things up.. i'm not really the most subtle of ppl to be honest... occasionally i still wish i could see her again..

change is a p difficult thing.. it's actually much harder for me.. i discovered that recently in Malaysia seeing my old school and all the changes in my surroundings.. i've realised that i can be stuck in my old ways and a bit closed to change.. now that summer's almost coming to an end, i'm trying to enjoy the last couple of days when i'll be free.. i've mostly enjoyed most of the summer, apart from the wet, cold days.. but that feeling of stepping into a hot car.. sounds weird but actually like that feeling.. so much better than stepping into a freezing car on a cold winter's day.. long days.. long sunsets.. the quiet.. have gotten so used to it, that now it's p hard to get out.. it'll take time but i should be enjoying the life b4 summer 04-05 once again..

a very reflective and dark blog i must say so far.. soory abt that.. on a lighter tone, i won a ticket to see the British Lions play the All Blacks in Christchurch on June 25!! woohoo!!