the paragraph ends here...

my life is a short story.. and this paragraph is on its last sentence.. that last sentence is approaching its fullstop.. perhaps it has just started. the first letter is being written in capital letters.. but u can tell that it is the last sentence of this particular paragraph and the full stop can't be that far away..

i'm not dying of coz... coz if i was that would have meant the end of the short story.. thankfully the story does go on a little bit further.. but it's always great to end a paragraph but it also comes with a bit of reluctance..

what is this paragraph? well it is my time in uni and possibly my time in Dunedin, depending on where i find my job for next year.. might even be in Malaysia which i'll try and look for when i go home in December.. but i will come back to Dunedin to get my stuff before i start my job so there will be time for goodbyes.. but certainly the goodbyes for guys like Jono, Andy, Natalie, a couple others will come a bit earlier.. i'm making the Cutting Edge Farewell movie like last year so i'll find out in due course who is not going to be in Dunedin next year but it will be the end of an era for sure.. i've known them for 3 years after all..

the trouble with starting a new paragraph is that u don't actually know what to write.. that's the case with my life here.. after this term what happens next? yes, i'll look for a job but i still don't know what type of job my degree will lead me to.. hence i don't mind any job as long as it can help me gain life experience and some money to do my OE.. and after that, i might come back and study or i might not come back at all.. i mean i have been studying for 10 years straight so it is good that i take a year off to do something different while i'm still young and while i have the opportunity to, if i am in between degrees..

it is something that has given me nightmares especially quite recently as 2006 comes to a close.. i still don't know what i want to do with my life and today it just finally came to a head.. it is the sort of thing that does get ya down a bit.. i know there are ppl out there who don't even know what they want to do with their lives even though they may be 25 or older but it's still hard when u're surrounded by ppl who seem to know what they're doing with their lives short-term or long-term..

Dan talked to me abt it and told me just to keep trusting in God and finding my passion.. i guess i have been lacking a bit in inspiration from reading the Bible coz i've kinda read it through and through.. i guess i need to make a fresh start and pretend that i'm a non-Christian and am making a new start.. i know the verses but i just need to make the connection.. i guess when ya don't know what ya doing after the end of this year, it's kinda frightening and dents ya faith a bit..

in conclusion, i think i'm frightened.. frightened of finding a job.. frightened of the real world.. after all a student doesn't really see much of the real world..

on a happier note, the 2006 Oscars were the best ever i reckon.. the build-up was hectic - extremely hectic, i mean an hour before we were supposed to start we still hadn't come close to setting up the auditorium.. but the rest of the night was awesome.. i did of MCing in my lab coat, funny hat and my wet-suit - coz i apparently did cartwheels from Dunedin to Dargaville in my Oscar...